第１１回 添削
日本を訪れる外国人観光客が、年々増加している。この傾向が続けは、２０１０年に１千万人という政府の目標は達成されそうだ。政府の観光白書によると、２００７年の外国人観光客は、前年比１４％近く増えて、８３５万人に達し、初めて８００万人台を超えた。国･地域別では、韓国、台湾、中国、アメリカの順で,韓国人にはゴルフ、台湾人には北海道でのスキー、中国人には富士山、アメリカ人にはショッピングが、人気だという。
（参考用例：BOOK-1 U-5-LCT, U-19-LCT, BOOK-2 U-1-3, U-33-8 ）
1. Foreign visitors to Japan are increasing every year, and the number will reach to ten million in 2010, which is the target of the Japanese government. According to the tourist white paper, the number of forign visitors reaches to eight million three hundred and fifty thousand, which is fourteen percent over the previous year. The number goes over eight million for the first time. The number of Korean visitors comes first, which follows Taiwanese, Chinese and Americans. Playing golf in Japan is popular among Korean visitors, so is skiing in Hokkaido among Taiwanese. Furthermore, Mount Fuji is popular among Chinese visitors. Also shopping in Japan is popular among Americans.
＊ Foreign visitors → The number of foreign visitors 従って動詞はis
＊ Simonさんは、foreign visitors to Japanをforeign tourists visiting Japan と訂
正したが、visitors の中には、tourists でない人もいるということだろう。例えば、foreigners visiting Japan on business. 2回目以降はvisitorsでもよいと思う。
＊ the number will のnumber を最初の文章にもっていけば、両方の主語が一致するから、２番目のthe number は省略できる。＊ will は確定未来、意志未来であり、不確定の場合は、be expected to を用いる。＊ 先行詞と関係代名詞は、なるべく近接させる。＊ which is は、両方まとめて省略される。＊ ８３５万人に達したのは去年のことだから、reachは過去形に。reach は他動詞なので、toは不要。＊ a 14 percent increase over the previous year あるいは、14 percent more than the previous year ＊ goes over → exceeded, surpassed 過去形 ＊ come first 一番先頭に到着する？ ＊ which follow → which is followed by～、which is はまとめて省略。＊ so, alsoの意味不明。 ＊ furthermore 不要な接続詞は使わない。＊ shopping in Japan, in Japanは論理的に不要。
● 1. The number of Foreign tourists visiting Japan is increasing every year. The number of them in 2010 is expected to reach ten million, the target set by the government. According to a government tourist white paper, the number of foreign visitors to Japan last year was eight million three hundred fifty thousand, or fourteen percent more than the previous year and exceeded the eight-million mark for the first time. South Koreans topped the list of foreign visitors, followed by Taiwanese, Chinese and Americans. According to the white paper, Korean visitors like playing golf, Taiwanese skiing in Hokkaido, Chinese viewing Mt. Fuji and Americans shopping.
2. More and more foreign tourists visit Japan every year. If the tendency continues, it is expected to achieve the government's aim that 10,000,000 people come to Japan by 2010. According to the White Paper on Tourism by the government, the number of foreign tourists in 2007 has increased by nearly 14% from the previous year to 8,350,000 and exceeded 8,000,000 for the first time. On a country(region)-by-country(region) basis, South Korea topped the list followed by Taiwan, China and America. Golf, Ski in Hokkaido, Mt. Fuji and shopping are popular among Koreans, Taiwanese, Chinese and Americans, respectively.
＊ It is expected to achieve the government’s aim → It is expected for the government to achieve its aim~, 不定詞の主語必要。 ＊ aim の次のthatは同格の接続詞だと思うが、aimには同格のthat clauseは続かない。不定詞で続ける。aim to accept 10,000,000 foreigners to Japan なお、同格節は名詞節なので、動詞は現在形ではなく未来形にしなければならない。cf. 副詞節中の未来形は現在形で代用。＊ by 2010 → in 2010, by だと 2010までの累計で1千万人 ＊ has increased → increased 2007は過去の時点だから、現在完了ではなく過去形を使う。＊ America → the United
States , Americaは大陸の名称。American は可。＊ Golf 以下の四つが、among 以下の4国民全部に好評ということになる。respectivelyをつけても同じ。＊ golf → playing golf, ski → skiing
● 2. More and more foreign tourists visit Japan every year. If the tendency continues, it is expected that the government will achieve its aim of 10,000,000 foreign tourists in 2010. According to a government white paper on tourism, the number of foreign visitors in 2007 increased by nearly 14 percent from the previous year to 8,350,000 and exceeded 8,000,000 for the first time. On a country-by-country basis, South Korea topped the list followed by Taiwan, China and the United States. Playing golf is popular among South Koreans, skiing in Hokkaido among Taiwanese, viewing Mt. Fuji among Chinese and shipping among Americans.
3. A growing number of foreign tourists have visited Japan year by year. A government goal of inviting 100 thousand tourists to Japan is more likely to be accomplished in 2010 if the tendency continues. The governmental white paper on tourism showed that the number of foreign tourists in 2007 has increased by nearly 14 percent to 8.35 million people than in the previous year, exceeding 8 million lay figures for the first time. Nationally and regionally, Korea tops the list, followed by Taiwan, China and the United States. Golf is said to be popular among the Korean people, skiing in Hokkaido among the Taiwanese, Mt.Fuji among the Chinese, and shopping among American respectively.
＊ year by year → Simonさんの意見：Year by year is OK, not a mistake, but it is
more common to use “ every year “. ＊ have visited → visit ＊ goal of inviting → goal to invite ＊ 数字に注意。100 thousand 10万人。数字が主題の文章で、桁数も間違っては、致命的。＊ the government white paper on tourism → a government ~ , 観光白書は毎年発表されるので、その一つという意味で不定冠詞。has increased → increased , 2007年は過去。＊ 8.35 million people , people は不要。主語はnumber。＊ lay figure ？ ＊ nationally 国民的に、意味が異なる。regionallyも同じ。＊ the Korean people 定冠詞をつければ、韓国民全部。＊ American→Americans
● 3. A growing number of foreign tourists visit Japan every year . The government goal of 10,000,000 tourists in Japan is more likely to be accomplished in 2010, if the tendency continues. A government white paper on tourism shows that the number of foreign tourists in 2007 increased by nearly 14 percent to 8.35 million than in the previous year, the eight-million mark for the first time. Nation and region wise, South Korea tops the list, followed by Taiwan , China and the United States. The paper says playing golf is popular among South Koreans, skiing in Hokkaido among Taiwanese, viewing Mt. Fuji among Chinese and shopping among Americans.
4. The number of foreign tourists visiting Japan is increasing every year. A continuation of this tendency is expected to attain the government target of 10 million visitors in 2010. The white paper on tourism published by Japanese government says the number of the foreign tourists in 2007 increased by nearly 14% on the year-to-year basis, having attained 8.35 million visitors and exceeded the level of eight million people for the first time. The paper shows Korea, Taiwan, China, and US in order of the number of tourists on the basis of country and region. It also says golf is popular for Korean, skiing in Hokkaido for Taiwanese, Mt. Fuji for Chinese, and shopping for American.
＊ to attain の意味上の主語はthe government、準動詞の意味上の主語に注意。→ The government is expected to attain its target~. ＊ the number of the foreign tourists → the number of foreign tourists 複数普通名詞に定冠詞を付すと、何か特定のものを指す。ここでは、訪日外国人全般を指すので、不要。＊ having attained の意味上の主語は何か。
この構文では、the number となるが、意味上の主語はthe government であって、number ではない。従って、意味上の主語であるthe number にあわせて、動名詞をreachingに変える。不定詞、分詞、動名詞は、もともと動詞であるから、必ず意味上の主語がある。それを間違えると、意味のよくわからない文となる。＊ increase と attain（reach）の間には、時間的な差はないから、完了動名詞にする必要はない。＊ level → mark
＊ Korea → South Korea ＊ the paper shows の後の従属節に動詞が見当たらない。＊ popular に続く前置詞は、with またはamong
● 4. The number of foreign tourists visiting Japan is increasing every year. If this trend continues, the government is expected to attain its target of 10,000,000 visitors in 2010. A government white paper on tourism says the number of foreign tourists in 2007 increased by nearly 14 % on a year-to-year basis, reaching 8.35 million and exceeded the eight-million mark for the first time. On a country-to-country basis, the paper shows that South Korea topped the list, followed by Taiwan, China and the United States. It also says playing golf is popular among South Koreans, skiing in Hokkaido among Taiwanese, viewing Mt. Fuji among Chinese and shopping among Americans.
5. Foreign tourists who visit Japan increase year after year. If this tendency continues to do so , the aim goverment will attain ten million in 2010. On goverment`s white paper , foreign tourists in 2007 have increased by 14 percent to 8350000 last year. It was the first time they come to Japan over 8000000. Countries,another areas.....
South Korea,Taiwan,China,America in order. Koreans like playing golf.Chineses like climbing at Fuji. Americans like shopping.
＊ 最初の文章、主文の動詞が見当たらない。＊ to do so 不要。so が何を意味するか不明。 the aim government → the government will attain the aim of~ ＊ On の意味不明。→ According to the government paper ＊ 8350000 下から三桁ごとにcommaで区切る。＊ 外国人観光客の数が8百万を超えたのが初めてなのだから、It is the first time (that) the number of foreign tourists has exceeded 8,000,000 となる。＊ 最後の文章 like を何回も繰り返さない。同じ語は、2回目から省略してよい。＊ 後半一寸乱れましたね。次回頑張ってください。
● 5. The number of foreign tourists visiting Japan is on the increase every year. If this tendency continues, the government is expected to attain its target of 10,000,000 visitors in 2010. A government white paper on tourism says the number of foreign visitors in 2007 increased by nearly 14% on a year-to-year basis. It is the first time that the number of foreign tourists exceeded the 8,000,000 mark. South Korea, Taiwan, China and the United States were the top four countries that sent tourists to Japan.
＊ sent tourists to Japan → supplied tourists to Japan : Simonさんの意見：The writer used the word ‘ sent ‘ to Japan, but that implies that the governments of these countries chose certain people to become tourists and go to Japan. Of course, the tourists decided to come to Japan by
＜ a model equivalent by Matsuyama ＞
The number of tourists visiting Japan is on the increase every year. If the trend continues as now, the government plan to attract ten million foreign visitors in 2010 is expected to be fulfilled. According to an annual government report, the number of foreign tourists to Japan in 2007 increased by nearly 14 percent over the previous year to 8.35 million to pass the eight-million mark for the first time. By country and region, South Korea topped the list for foreign tourists, followed by Taiwan, China and the United States. The report says the most popular destinations are golf courses for South Koreans, ski slopes in Japan’s northernmost main island of Hokkaido for Taiwanese, Mt. Fuji for Chinese and shopping malls for Americans.
＜ ひとくち解説 ＞
日本政府は、２００３年から始めた“ VISIT JAPAN “ campaign の目標である年間外国人観光客１千万人が達成される見通しがついたとして、今年１０月には観光庁(仮称)( the Tourism Agency)を発足させ、２０２０年に２千万人を誘致して（attract）観光立国(tourism country)を目指すという。アジアでは経済発展を背景に、円安や格安航空の参入もあって、日本への観光旅行(sightseeing tours)が容易になり、２００７年には、韓国２６０万人、台湾１３９万人、中国９４万人と、全体の７０％をアジアからの観光客が占めている。日本は、四季の移り変わり(seasonal characteristics)や、長い伝統を持つ文化、それに、美しい風景など、観光資源(tourist attractions)に恵まれており、もっと海外から観光客を呼び込めるはずだ。増えたといっても、世界では３０位前後、アジアでも７位前後で、年間７千５百万人を集めるフランスを初め、中国、イタリアには遠く及ばず、２千万人になったとしても、ドイツ並みの１０位前後である。世界の観光客は２０１０年には、１０億人、２０２０年には１６億人に達するという試算もあり、観光資源を生かす工夫次第では、観光立国も夢ではないかもしれない。たしかに、言葉の壁はあるだろうが、何よりももてなしの心(hospitality )が必要だ。町ぐるみで努力した神奈川県の箱根町では、昨年１０年ぶりに観光客が２千万人を超え、外国人の宿泊客も４０％以上増えて１５万人達したという。数年前のことだが、早春の頃、箱根の大涌谷に富士山を見に行った。春の観光シーズンには未だ間があり、途中対向車にはほとんど会わなかったが、大涌谷の駐車場についてみると、大型の観光バスがずらりと並んでいた。駐車場から山の中腹にある温泉黒卵を売る名所までの道は、大勢の観光客であふれガヤガヤと賑やかだったが、ふと気がつくと、それは日本語ではなく、中国語だった。大涌谷から見る冬の富士山は、谷越えに、外輪山を前景にして、ひときわ美しい。駐車場のレストハウスの前で、富士山を指差しながら、大声で話している中国の人達に交じって、なにか誇らしい気持ちが湧いてきた。（Ｍ）
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